The T.O. Show
July 21, 2009
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As expected, last night’s premiere of The T.O. Show provided plenty of entertainment, and again made me wish he still played for the Cowboys so I could jeer my Cowboy friends for every stupid comment or selfish act that T.O. provides.
All in all, I got everything I expected out of this episode – laughs, cringes, a little more insight into the man that everyone “hates to love,” and as an added benefit, some great music – the episode features an instrumental cut of Tokyo Police Club’s “Graves.” As any follower of this blog knows, I am a huge Tokyo Police Club fan, and since this show is on VH1, it’s nice that the channel remembered (even if just for a moment) that it’s supposed to be a music network. “Graves” was one of the singles from their excellent Elephant Shell LP, which garnered a lot of comparisons to bands like The Strokes, The Decemberists, Wolf Parade, Ra Ra Riot – except I think Tokyo Police Club is head and shoulders above all those bands. They’re tighter and less caricature-like than The Strokes, more imaginative than The Decemberists, and just overall more consistent than just about anything out there right now, although I think I would rather hear them used on a show about Chris Cooley rather than T.O.
The show starts just as Owens finds out that he has been cut from the Dallas Cowboys. He spends a day depressed in his apartment with best friend/body guard Pablo, until his magic publicists, Mo and Kita, show up and force him to leave the house to forget about Dallas. They hit the town, and in an extremely awkward (and definitely scripted scene) they tell him he needs to move to LA for the summer to get serious. Exactly what he needs to get serious about is kind of left ambiguous – one would think they would want him out there training or trying to find a new team, but it mostly has to do with stuff like finding him the right woman and rebuilding his image.
They arrive in LA, and the first thing he does is shop. They drive to Beverly Hills in another awkward, scripted scene that is supposed to be comedic as Pablo passes gas in the car and everyone makes sure to note that it is nasty. Wow. Terrell proceeds to purchase $137,000 earrings, saying that sometimes he needs to spoil himself, just a little bit (but not too much).
The rest of the episode follows this predictable format, with T.O. being T.O. and his publicists trying to get him to tone down his act. It’s obvious the publicists love seeing themselves on TV, as they give righteous speeches, such as the one where they chastise him for bringing a bunch of “hoochie mamas” back to his house for after-hours partying. Watching Owens interact with some of my city’s trashiest train wrecks, he clearly looks in his element.
The next day, Mo and Kita tell him he needs to stay in and be smart, and he takes their advice, but with a catch – he invites his real estate agent over for dinner, proceeds to hit on her, and next thing you know they’re making out in the hot tub.
Somehow, the episode skips over him signing with the Bills, and all of a sudden he’s just arriving in Buffalo for a press conference. Drew Rosenhaus gives a quick blurb about how T.O. is going to make every team in the league pay, blah blah blah. Finally, the show comes to a conclusion as Owens visits his ex-fiancee and they have an uncomfortable discussion as he tries to play, “Joe Cool,” when she asks about his love life, responding with, “I don’t have one.”
T.O. simply being T.O. provides some hilarious entertainment, and although I’m not sure I can make it through a whole season, I will be tuning in next week to check out his shenanigans again. Hope you have a fun season of playing catch with this guy, Trent Edwards! To help you wash the bad T.O. taste out of your mouth, I’ll leave you all with the music video for Tokyo Police Club’s “Graves.”